To have that dream be you

To have that dream be you,

what would i not deny?

That you may know, pay heed

with your heart's sight

that i may show -

the skies and Earth and seas

when by you are naught to me.

And if in that sweet dream

i were to see a face -

and God Yours let it be! -

may He me save

that i be deemed,

forever and eternally,

to your life's servant be.

(There is naught i would not do,

you know,

to have that dream be you.)

- continued from: Twice have i seen you -

Twice have i seen you

Twice have i seen you now

as through a foggy dream

so near to me you draw,

and yet have i no name to call,

no face in Day's light seen

to which i may assuredly avow -

Two times to me you've come,

and twice is my heart gone.

Hence am i once more left,

to further dread my wake

and anon hold to sleep

as that one last reprieve

during which i may take

you into my arms 'til then bereft

of you, but then never again

if smiled upon by Providence.

-----

-----

A sweet dream, they were

The word Kalee hates

It's dichotomy. She finds the sound of it severely irritating, its utterance unnecessary or misapplied 99.9% of the time. I think it can be aptly applied to the nature of man or, my own.

Saturday i went out with Karla and Zara. We went to a nice bar/restaurant downtown that had good, and tasteful, live music. It was almost one in the morning when Z decided to bar-hop and look for her most recent lover, so K and i went along with her. While at the last bar on Z's list K and i left the balcony and went in for a few minutes. On the way out again I held the door open for her to exit first, and as i was about to step out myself a really cute girl is making her way in - we stopped right in front of each other, she took a good look at me, then she turned around and started dancing, grinding her rear into my crotch.

Dichotomy: found in my sentience.

The animal in me wants to grab her by the hips and sway to her rhythm - she's cute, having fun, and a potential good time later on.

My higher self is disgusted and pushes her away forcefully. It would have been more gentle, had she not clung.

I do my best not to use the word hate; it's too strong a word. One thing i do hate wholeheartedly, though, is the music played in places like that club, and the attitudes that come along with it. For example, the rap where men glorify the objectification of women, or songs by female - so called artists - that vulgarly pander to men's most basic instinct. Most of what is said in such songs is experienced internally by many, but to express these thoughts in such perverse ways, and to glorify it, to try to sell these fantasies as art and a viable way of living...it makes me uncomfortable to be surrounded by people who find no fault in such things. There is no profundity in such blather, no peace to be found in its petty lyrics, and i am reminded again of why i don't frequent such places.

This girl, in a different context, i might have found genuinely attractive, but to see her so moved by such words, to have her move against me in a way one would normally do only privately - i am not, and hope to never be, comfortable with this.

Karla thinks i should loosen up and just have fun. I disagree, choosing one part of the dichotomy over the other.

Living on a maybe

Friend 1: I'm taking off, I'll see you tomorrow.

Friend 2: Okay - will you be shooting pool with us tomorrow?

F1: Maybe.

F2: I'll call you tomorrow before we go. I'll probably see you here, right? Are you coming tomorrow?

F1: I don't know, maybe.

F2: i see - you're livin on a maybe.

F1: Yeah, kind of.

Sin titulo -

El nombre del amor

no facilmente recuerdo.

Existen solo imagenes

borrosas,

lejanas,

cuyas caras por el tiempo

casi han sido olvidadas.

Hay momentos en que viene,

brevemente pero viene

en el aire como un perfume,

o aparición en mi vino

mas escapa de mi mente

ese nombre tan divino.

Mis dientes son unas rejas

mis labios un candado

y el nombre del amor,

ese viejo prisionero

por mi lengua sigue atado.

Paso a paso -

Pasa una mujer por mi lado,

pasa otra

y ya van dos

y me pregunto -

cuantas mas pasaran,

cuando ire a despertar

y cuando pasara el dolor?

Dos cortos años van

desde que pasaste tu,

dos cortos años eternos

que e pasado sin tu luz

y voy caminando en lo obscuro,

sin rumbo voy ambulando

un camino de amaritud.

A una Puta, un poema:

Hay mas belleza en tí

que en todas las demas,

en tu pecado incorruptible

mas felicidad.

Noble a de ser llamada

tu condenada profesión

que a todo hombre libera

de cada nombrada aflicción,

con pocas mas dulces palabras

y muy necesaria atención.

--------------------

a brief poem for the woman i gave a ride to, from the bank to her house, without knowing she was/is a prostitute - she was a nice lady.