The word Kalee hates

It's dichotomy. She finds the sound of it severely irritating, its utterance unnecessary or misapplied 99.9% of the time. I think it can be aptly applied to the nature of man or, my own.

Saturday i went out with Karla and Zara. We went to a nice bar/restaurant downtown that had good, and tasteful, live music. It was almost one in the morning when Z decided to bar-hop and look for her most recent lover, so K and i went along with her. While at the last bar on Z's list K and i left the balcony and went in for a few minutes. On the way out again I held the door open for her to exit first, and as i was about to step out myself a really cute girl is making her way in - we stopped right in front of each other, she took a good look at me, then she turned around and started dancing, grinding her rear into my crotch.

Dichotomy: found in my sentience.

The animal in me wants to grab her by the hips and sway to her rhythm - she's cute, having fun, and a potential good time later on.

My higher self is disgusted and pushes her away forcefully. It would have been more gentle, had she not clung.

I do my best not to use the word hate; it's too strong a word. One thing i do hate wholeheartedly, though, is the music played in places like that club, and the attitudes that come along with it. For example, the rap where men glorify the objectification of women, or songs by female - so called artists - that vulgarly pander to men's most basic instinct. Most of what is said in such songs is experienced internally by many, but to express these thoughts in such perverse ways, and to glorify it, to try to sell these fantasies as art and a viable way of living...it makes me uncomfortable to be surrounded by people who find no fault in such things. There is no profundity in such blather, no peace to be found in its petty lyrics, and i am reminded again of why i don't frequent such places.

This girl, in a different context, i might have found genuinely attractive, but to see her so moved by such words, to have her move against me in a way one would normally do only privately - i am not, and hope to never be, comfortable with this.

Karla thinks i should loosen up and just have fun. I disagree, choosing one part of the dichotomy over the other.