tug-o'-war

"Law-abiding citizens who are getting permits because they think the government is coming to take their guns away are just wrong - it's an absurd, cartoonish myth." Brady campaign spokesman Peter Hamm, commenting to the AP on the 67% jump in "Right-to-Carry applications in the state of Florida. (Source: America's First Freedom, October 2009, p.16)

------------

Oh, Brady Campaign you democratic beacon of wisdom, you...you're right, the government is not aiming to confiscate people's firearms. And to evidence the government's non-intentions you label this belief a cartoonish myth in order to dissuade the populace from applying for right-to-carry permits. But if a person carries a handgun without a permit a government agent will exercise his duty to be on site with a gun in the holster, if not in the hand. That's if one gets there at all, since it's been ruled by more than one court that no level of government and no public servant bears any legal duty to protect an individual.

------------

7.15.2005 Supreme Court of the United States No. 04-278 Town of Castle Rock, Colorado, Petitioner, v. Jessica Gonzalez: It is a well-settled fact of American law that the police have no legal duty to protect any individual citizen from crime, even if the citizen has received death threats and the police have negligently failed to provide protection.

Warren v. District of Columbia, 444 A.2d 1 (D.C. 1981): ...a government and its agencies are under no general duty to provide public services, such as police protection, to any particular citizen...

Riss r. New York, 22 N.Y. 2d 579, 293 N.Y. 2d 897, 240 N.E.2d 806 (1958): What makes the City's position particularly difficult to understand is that, in conformity to the dictates of the law, [Ms. Miller] did not carry any weapon for self-defense. Thus, by a rather bitter irony she was required to rely for protection on the City of NY which now denies all responsibility to her.

Lynch v. N.C. Dept. of Justice, 376 S.E. 2nd 247 (N.C. App. 1989): Law enforcement agencies and personnel have no duty to protect individuals from the criminal acts of others; instead their duty is to preserve the peace and arrest law breakers for the protection of the general public.

------------

No, the government does not want to take people's guns away. All it wants is for us to ask permission to have these at the ready, while at the same time disowning the responsibility to protect us from crazy people, which perceived responsibility it does its best to ingrain into our consciousness.

Serving New York's 15th district, along with all the rest of us

Charles Rangel, congressman from New York's fifteenth district, is in the hot seat. Currently he is being investigated by the House Ethics Committee for: failing to declare $650,000 in assets on his 2007 financial disclosure forms; illegally maintaining three rent-subsidized apartments in New York; soliciting funds on congressional stationery for a think tank bearing his name; claiming three separate homes as primary residences; failing to pay property taxes on a home in the Dominican Republic and failing to report $75,000 worth of income from a condo in Florida.

Now, we all know this didn't come to light simply because one day somebody decided to ask, 'Hey, you know Charlie? I wonder what he's been up to the past few years...' No, for everything there is a reason, and if you asked me to get to the gist of it already i'd say the reason for Mr. Rangel's present headaches is the following: he took somebody's parking spot. I'd say that's what did him in, he used a coveted Capitol parking space to store a vintage Mercedes-Benz.

----------

Charlie, you're one of the wolves in the Ways and Means Committee who is charged with writing our nation's tax laws. Heck, Tom Delay was busted for similar corruption when he was House Majority Leader and he had nothing to do with revenue codes, so when some one who is intimately acquainted with this aspect of law is caught thieving it comes as no surprise to me. In some sad way i actually think this is to be expected...but don't go messing with some one else's parking spot! Ignoring your own unjust laws so you can steal tax dollars from the American public is one thing, but taking a man's parking spot is a whole other matter. That's a low personal blow, Charlie.

----------

We ought to look at this on the bright side, though. At least the money Rangel withheld from the IRS isn't going to some stupid wars that seem to have no end in sight.

Charles Rangel: serving NY's fifteenth district, serving himself, or serving us all?

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 - The Monitor, Valley and State (Section B)

un soneto experimental

Bella es ella para mi,

primera hoy en mi corazón

sin saber yo la razón,

andando ciego en mi elgjir.

Sea pido a Dios el sentir,

saber o pensar que a lo mejor

puede ella oír la voz

que no escapa mi pecho decir,

'Quizaís yo te ame,'

que no me deja dormir.

Si mi pensar no esta mal

ya sabre confesar

con mis labios resecos

y los ojos abiertos

esperandola a ella,

feliz.

------------

Si sabes leer, tu nombre leeras.

If these products don't make our lives better, i don't know what will...

Abilify yourself, foo'! If you are currently taking medication for depression but are still experiencing residual sadness, you might want to consider Abilify as an add-on. In this case, the point of an add-on is to provide additional relief from depressive symptoms, that is what Abilify is supposed to do. However, you might want to discontinue consumption if you experience new or worstening depression symptoms, unusual changes in behavior, or thoughts of suicide. If you have any of these sypmtoms, PLEASE contact the dumbass who prescribed you Abilify!

Abilify, it makes me feel so good i couldn't possibly have anything else to live for =)

Abilify

------------

New Charmin Ultra Strong! It's what you get when you combine classic Charmin toilet tissue with the company's trademark Diamond Weave texture. It's tougher than the brand with a lot of ripples, so you can bet your bum none of it'll stay behind!

click on the bum for info

No more Christmas, but how 'bout Diwali?

Texas education standards currently require sixth graders be "able to explain the significance of religious holidays sch as...Christmas and Easter...Ramadan, and...Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah." However, the Texas State Board of Education is currently considering a proposal which would remove the words Christmas and Rosh Hashanah from the curriculum, to have these supplanted by a lesson on the Hindu festival Dawali. The proposed change would affect sixth grade courses on world geography and cultures. "The curriculum does not prohibit teachers from mentioning other cultural or religious holidays in their classrooms."

------------

David Barton, one of the experts appointed to a

dvise the SBoE, opines against:

America is not equally divided among these five religions...[bringing up Christmas and Rosh Hashanah] does not necessarily promote either Christianity or Judaism; rather, it simply acknowledges with accuracy the religious culture of America as it actually exists that these holidays have been awarded their place in the culture by the people themselves."

Kathy Miller, President of watchdog group Texas Freedom network, gets snarky:

This is just a cynical attempt to use religion as a weapon to mislead the public and divide Texans over something as important as our children's education.

G. Smithy, Founder, President and CFO of U.S. Federation for the Furtherance of Smithiness, South Texas chapter, adds his two sense:

* Mr. Barton, i must say you bring up a most excellent point! Would you like to become an Honorary Member of the U.S. Federation for the Furtherance of Smithiness, South TX chapter?

* Ms. Miller, if it aint broke, don't fix it. It seems that it may people with beliefs similar to your own who are using such proposals as divisive tools, this by alluding to them within the context of religious indoctrination when, for all practical purposes, references to these holidays in schools have to do with the cultural heritage of a nation. Children are taught about the ways of these religions in schools, not in the ways of these religions. Do you propose that the children of Texas now have the "freedom" to not suffer mention of traditional days of

observance?

------------

I'm almost tempted to side with the proposal, though for reasons different than Ms. Miller's. Children already learn about their own traditional holidays through their own families, so why not mix-up the curriculum a little and take a more holistic approach to world cultures/religions?

Still, to strike mention of Christmas (and Rosh Hashanah) seems to go a bit far.

My brother, where hast thou been?

I wanted to use Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?, but there's already a movie with that title. I probably wouldn't have thought of that if i hadn't watched the movie, though, so it's alright.

One of my brothers has recently begun to consider the ways in which one's choice of words is important. He's been reading a new book, The Stylelife Challenge [sic], and began insisting i "should read it", to which my reaction was, No way, i don't have time to read that. After briefly contemplating my response he chose to rephrase his instruction, this time articulating the many merits of the book and then simply recommending it - Hmm, i'll check it out next time i go to the bookstore. He attributes his incipient appreciation for elocution to this book.

What can i say? I think the book is silly in a general sense, but the kid makes a good point about something i haven't consciously thought of for some time. Choice and delivery are crucial to success.

Ladies, take heed

THE PEACOCK AND THE CRANE

A tale by Aesop

-----------

A peacock taunted a crane with the dullness of her plumage. "Look at my brilliant colors," said she, "and see how much finer they are than your poor feathers." "I am not denying," replied the crane, "that yours are far gayer than mine. But when it comes to flying I can soar into the clouds, whereas you are confined to the earth like any dunghill cock."

-----------

Gents, the same goes for us.

Senatorial Solitaire

Read the article at DailyCourant.com

Love at first plight

Dallas, TX: Michael & Jean Kidd (ages 67 and 70) have recently found themselves in an unpleasant predicament: they are being held by the State of Texas against their will. What crime have they committed? None, unless being old and in love has recently been codified as a crime without the State informing the People of Texas.

Last November Mr. Kidd sufferred a fall that shattered his hip, after which he was transferred to a Plano hospital for treatment. Mrs. Kidd, acting as any concerned and loving partner would, faithfully attempted to stay as close to her husband as she could, which in this case meant the waiting room. After a few days, however, the hospital filed a report with Adult Protective Services, stating Mrs. Kidd would not eat as hospital staff treated Mr. Kidd. Acting dutifully towards its citizens, the State of Texas has taken it upon itself to remedy this seemingly crminal situation.

Citing poor judgment and incompetence, Texas APS has confined Michael & Jean Kidd to a cramped room in Countryside Nursing Home, Pilot Point, TX, where a couple's tenancy comes at a price of about $7,000 per month. When asked, the Kidds' state appointed financial guardian refused to give them an acocunting of their financial matters, going so far as to say they "did not have the mental capacity to even ask for their own financial or mediacal records." State litigators also attempted to obtain a restraining order to prevent the article this post is based on from being reported (it was denied by Judge Weldon Copeland). While the Kidds are allotted a mere $60 of their own money by the state per month, their home sits abandoned. Its doors were left unlocked, food remained spoiling in the kitchen and their yard began to grow out of control, according to their neighbor Bob Graham.

The Kidds have had no children, other relatives, or neighbors come forth to advocate on their behalf. Their court-appointed attorney has been described, essentially, as more laughable than a joke so bad one couldn't laugh at it for any other reason than that.

Michael Kidd: "I can't believe I have been hi-jacked off the street, virtually from the hospital, and imprisoned...I know what my income was and I know it was more than enough to take care of my bills. Now, I'm deteriorating instead of getting better."

Jean Kidd: "Having help is one thing...having someone come in and take over the whole ball of wax and say you will do what I say, and you have no control over your own life...How could this happen in a country that talks about and brags about freedom?...And yet this is how we treat our old people. This can happen to any of you." Mrs. Kidd has lost twenty pounds and two teeth while keeping her husband company at Countryside, commenting that no one at the nursing home seems to notice.

The gist of it: This is not right. When a person is fully congnisant of their situation and surroundings and has broken no law, yet is being confined against their will without being provided adequate representation (being held against their will, period) as well as a full and accurate accounting of their most intimate matters, this qualifies as imprisonment, unjust, unlawful and unconstitutional imprisonment. One should not expect, much less accept, this sort of tyrannical action even from the federal government, much less from one of the fifty states.

One of the worst parts of this is the hypocrisy on the part of the state. Children in public schools are being made to read novels exalting the virtues of unconditional love in which characters willingly give up their lives for and with the beloved (not necessarily a bad thing), even as the State perpetrates such criminal, immoral and insensitive acts.

If this upsets you as much as it does Smithy, please, contact Governor Rick Perry regarding this matter, as well as Texas Adult Protective Services.

To view the original article, click "Elderly Couple Forced into State Custody".

Discontinued

Smithy: Blue, i know exactly what kind of girl i want.

Blue: So do I, they just don't make those kinds of girls no more.

How manly are you?

If a man without a job is only half a man, and i have a part-time job, does that make me a man or only 3/4 of one?

And if one substitutes love where employment had been, and its absence would make one only half a man as well, as did that of the latter - in this situation, if i had love but was performing no gainful service still, would that make me a man or would i still be only half of one?

Let's suppose lacking either or both of these would make one the lesser man.

If i had at least a part-time job and love, would i be more than just a man?

What if i have a part-time job i love?

Have it your way

Drivethru Girl: Welcome to Mcdonald's! May I take your order?

Smithy's Dad: Hi, um, can I have it my way?

Girl: Yes, sir, you can!

Dad: Great, because if I can have it my way then I'd like a Whataburger!

Girl: Sir, this is Mcdonald's, you cannot have Whataburger.

Dad: Oh, ok, then I'd like a McRib sandwich.

Girl: Sir, we don't sell McRibs anymore.

Dad: Ok, have a good night then! =)

Sorry you couldn't have it your way, Dad.

Do it for the kids

Jake, my dear friend who is a lunchlady, the gistsmith understands why you are upset.

High school kids are animals, and just when you thought you had a little time to breath non-school-food-permeated air, a wild herd of them stampeded into what was formerly a serene meadow of multicolored cafeteria seats. This happened because our school district's resident logistical experts accidentally gave you a break at the same time the pack goes out to feed. Then you were expected to swiftly man your post behind the stainless steel counter just as your colleagues around you did, despite the fact you were all off the clock.

I sympathize with your feelings of, "Fuck that, man, I'm not on the clock!" But the next time something like this happens, i'd like for you to buckle down and focus on just one thing: Do it for the kids!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Other topics of tonight's conversations: what do you call a baby lobster - search results for "what do you call a baby lobster?" - women - the proper way to act out a power fist while listening to 80s metal (it's contextual) - songs that are in our hearts (What's Up, anyone!?) - kickin ass at 9-ball.

Lobster love

Jackie tells me lobsters spend an indeterminate period of their lives crawling along the ocean floor in solitude. At some point, however, the fateful day arrives when they find the one other lobster in the whole world with whom to spend the remainder of their lives. They never experiment with other lobsters before that day, and never consider another after it. I wonder if this is true...

The Gistsmith posits the following theory: The animal body is in some ways a machine, and we all (even lobsters) operate at a certain frequency throughout our lives. One day, the lobster's patience in the face of romantic adversity is rewarded in the form of a mate, but not just any old mate - a mate who is on the same wavelength. It seems the lobster doesn't mind going alone for what could be the greater part of its life, preferring this over compromising its values.

The important thing is that, while lobtsters might be saddened by the potentially long and excruciating wait, they never stop being productive members of society - mainly ours. We could all learn a little something from the lobster i think.

Don't eat me! I just got married!

The glass is half full

When you're down because life keeps slamming doors shut in your face, remember the gist of it: god always leaves a window open. Unless, of course, you're afraid some crazy person will sneak in and do terrible things to you. Then you better start prayin.

Ed Hardy t-shirts

The Gistsmith's friend says: "Ed Hardy t-shirts look like somebody threw-up artwork all over your trunk!"

Ed Hardy t-shirt & Mega Vomit

So much for cultural sensitivity

Brownsville, TX, 8/18/2009: Old Man was arguing with his neighbor, who adamantly refused to believe that he is in fact from El Salvador. The old man could only tolerate such an insult for so long and, perhaps as a matter of proving his nationality, grabbed a machete by the blade and struck his neighbor over the head with the handle. Police say the neighbor was not seriously injured, while homeboy faces charges for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

The Gistsmith understands: Not every American is acquainted with foreign customs (unfortunately). But, had the neighbor known that in Central America machetes are as common as frivolous law suits are in the States, he could have spared himself a nasty lump on his head. Perhaps the old man was only trying to knock some cultural sensitivity into his clueless neighbor, along with a bonus geography lesson?

New Jersey

City of Parerson:

There has been a wave of deadly shootings in Paterson this summer, and the City Council will soon consider a measure which would be "the nation's first citywide, non-emergency curfew to include adults". I wonder what Paterson's finest social engineers were up to around this time last year...

Source: NJ city considers adult curfew after crime spate

The Gistsmith suggests: If felony charges don't deter people from hurting others, neither will misdemeanor ones. Everyone go out for a late night stroll anyway. Then, when the majority of Paterson's responsible citizens have been cited for disregarding this ordinance, file as amicus curiae in each others' hearings. Fun for all, including the courts!